Non-Stop Ultimate Pumping

4?

2009-05-19T05:36:52Z

4 letters cannot justify one big word's grandiosity.

Because with it comes happiness. Ecstasy. Contentment. Complacency. Pain. Tears. Smiles. Laughs. Strength. Butterflies in your stomach. Eye-twitching.

It makes you jump for joy. Squirm in discomfort. Tremble with fear. Sleep in peace. Awaken with expectations. Wiggle your toes. Giggle when no one's looking.

These still aren't enough to describe its grandiosity.

And I wrote all of these.

Just to say.

I _____ you.

Just because 4 letters cannot justify what I feel for you.

F.U.

2009-04-13T13:34:18Z

Just grow the fuck up and act your age! I don't even mind you or give a fuck about you, you insecure psycho bitch. This isn't the first time, and when you used to talk shit about me before, I just let it go because of the fact that you are a girl. But this is too much. Get a life and stop shitting mine!

Robert Perovich

2009-04-11T07:15:55Z

Nationality:
Canadian
Date of Birth:
27 January, 1976
Birth Place:
Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada)
Height:
6'2"/ 188 cm
Hair:
Brown
Eyes:
Green
Chest:
39"/ 99 cm
Waist:
31"/ 79 cm
Collar:
16"/ 39 cm
Shoes:
European 45, US 11, UK 10.5
Suit:
38R

*info and photos from MODELHOMMES

i'm just a little bit caught in the middle

2009-04-11T00:44:29Z

Being in a Catholic family, it is mandatory for us to fast from Good Friday 'til the morning of Easter Sunday. Every Good Friday we have a big lunch, becauce come 3 o'clock, we refrain from eating and drink soup instead. And me, being stupid, didn't eat much during lunch yesterday, hence the growling stomach that woke me up this morning. Mom's making soup now and I feel I'll be able to finish the whole can.

Well anyway, I've been thinking much lately about my life. Yuck, I sound so old. Anyway, I just came to realize that I expect too much from people, especially my friends. For the past few days, I've felt so "pushed aside" just because my friends haven't been talking to me or texting me. But then, maybe it's also my fault because I don't reach out either and instead of making conversation, I just wait here, staring at the screen until someone IMs. Bah. I mean, my friends DO give me time, but I guess what I'm scared of is that since we're not in high school anymore, we might just drift apart, all of us. I guess I'm just worrying too much. I miss my friends.

Nils Butler

2009-04-10T04:42:58Z

PHOTO SOURCE: muskcatie @ modelhommes.com

the heat of summer sunshine

2009-04-09T16:33:21Z

Summer has begun and the heat is killing me.

So... I'm sorry for the abrupt hiatus. I concentrated so much on school and everything. Well, just to update you guys, I finally graduated from high school. It was a bittersweet moment really, I'll miss all those faces I've come to love.

Summer has been kind of a bore. I'm a stay-at-home person usually, but damn, I just wanna get out of here and have a sweet vacation in an unknown paradise. It really sucks missing out on certain adventures with friends just because you can't afford it.

Oh well... I'm just thinking positive nowadays. College is coming and I can't wait! I'm also stoked 'cause I got this letter from this Mr. Nobel guy inviting me to a scholar thingy. Yay!

spring summer 2009

2009-01-11T04:28:00Z

D&G

Viktor&Rolf

Calvin Klein

Moschino

question

2009-01-08T16:21:22Z

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Yes or No?

FREAKING SHIT

2008-12-06T02:48:03Z

I forgot to submit a college application form. And the test's tomorrow. OMG. I am counting on 3 universities. Please, please, please God. I swear I'll be good.

BTW. I am so SORRY everyone for being on hiatus and not being able to post comments or reply to comments. Work sucks, but I'm loving every bit of senior year :)

:(

2008-08-14T15:11:00Z

i feel so unwanted.

hug me please

if i fell

2008-05-31T09:45:50Z

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you, oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too, oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
cause I couldn't stand the pain
and I would be sad if our new love was in vain

so I hope you see that I
would love to love you
and that she will cry when she learns we are two.

If I fell in love with you

unsent

2008-05-22T14:12:20Z

It really hit me hard. Why should I give a damn, when you don't even give a fuck about me? I mean, why do I want to hold on to someone who I know does not appreciate anything I do? I freed myself from the chains that bound me to you. It's hard, losing the person I trust the most. Although I'd never say it straight to your face, you really are the person I could tell ANYTHING to. I'm sure you know that. It'll be hard, trying to find someone to replace you. Actually, no one will EVER replace you. That's what hurts the most. You're the best, and I can't have you. I can't keep chasing you, because it hurts me too much. I've been eating less, losing focus, all because of you.

Sometimes, I wonder if this is happening to you too. Do you even think about me? Do you remember all the things? And then I realize I'm fooling myself. I'm not that important anyways. It really gets me going when I see you and you see me, but all we can do is nod our heads to say hi. Is that really all we have left? A little hi's and hello's? I never would have imagined before that I would feel this way about a friend. I hate the melodrama, but it's the kind of friendship wherein you learn to love. I guess I can thank you for that. You are so accepting and understanding, and I love you for that. But with how things are going, it hurts. Really. So I guess this is goodbye.

P.S. I'm always here if you need me. Just because we're not friends anymore, doesn't mean I've stopped loving you.

colon - closed parenthesis

2008-05-19T12:07:24Z

I will never be to you what you are to me.

Unrequited.

questions

2008-05-17T01:06:42Z

What do you do when you want something that you know you'll never have?

What do you do when you love someone who'll never love you back?

What do you do when you know all your efforts are going nowhere?

4th grade all over again

2008-05-16T11:04:36Z

You lost. Just accept it. You don't even deserve it.

Let me get this straight. You think EVERYONE likes you. You think that no one would stand up to you.

Well, I am. And I won't back down. You're wrong, you're a bitch, you have a bad attitude. You're a skunk (and a skank too), a jealous monster. Eat some dirt, 'cause I won't let you win.

Better watch your back, asshole. I'm coming to get you.

i am a fever

2008-05-13T14:03:41Z

People usually see me generally as a happy person, the one who's always smiling, cracking jokes, and being able to lighten up the mood in any room. That's why it came as a surprise when one of my friends reprimanded me once for being too distant and accused me of having trust problems.

At first I was really taken aback and very offended. How did he have the nerve to judge me?

Well, I guess I reacted that way because I didn't want to admit to myself that he was able to describe me, right at the bull's eye. I don't really know why I have such a big trust problem, but it's just that I hate having to share my problems with other people. It's just that I have this thought lingering at the back of my mind, telling me that other people have their own problems.

I'm sorry I never told you, but when you asked me how I was, I was ecstatic. And now it hurts because it seems that you fail to see what lies behind the smiles I flash nowadays.

there are no diamonds in the sky

2008-05-12T17:01:41Z

So it's around 1 A.M. and her I am staring at the screen, waiting for my friend to finish his damn proposal so that I can share my day with him. See, I'm such a good friend. And I need this out of my system, but fuck, if it were me: BROS over WORK. Any day, man. Hope you learn that valuable lesson, too.

Argh. I am so drained and my inner-side forearm hurts. I hope it isn't anything serious like carpal tunnel or anything, but bah. The pain comes back and forth.

Damn. I've been waiting since NINE PEE-EM, and he's still not done with his work? LIAR! FRIENDSHIP OVER.

Have a good day everyone.

the sound of thunder

2008-05-09T06:44:53Z

A flurry of arrows shot at my back. Faint whispers fill the air, creating this irritating noise which makes my eyes twitch. I want to fall to the ground and just lie there.

But I won't make them see they're winning.

i can see us dying

2008-05-05T05:27:52Z

Something inside me, jealousy perhaps, was ripping me in two; my heart in one hand and my head on the other, I felt like bursting into tears, regardless of how many people were inside the room.

Why do I feel that way? Why do I feel this rush of blood to the head whenever I see you having fun with other people. Maybe it's because I blame myself for our failed friendship. Can you blame me? I've been trying to save the little that we had left, but really, it felt like trying to collect water into a cupped hand. You kept slipping away and I was never able to grab hold of you again.

It feels sad to lose such a great friend like you. Last night I prayed for you to be happy, even if I wasn't part of the picture. That's really all I want now. Maybe I'm not the friend you need. But right now, I need you so much.

I remember the times I used to call you late at night and you would listen. That honesty between us, where has it gone? When I remember those times, my eyes swell and tears flow down my cheeks, but as quickly as they come down, I wipe them off. What's the use of crying? I'll never find a friend as great as you. And I'll never forgive myself for failing to save our friendship.

i'm a new soul

2008-04-16T05:15:18Z

This Gucci ensemble looks really good. I particularly like the pants; I've been thinking about getting plaid pants/shorts, but I don't think it would ever look good on me.

I think I'll leave my journal public first, since I don't even have LJ friends apart from you, crynarcissus. Hahahahaha! Ohh. I've also decided that I want to visit Uruguay. Just sayin'.

revenge of the sequels

2008-04-16T01:34:22Z

Really. Please do not make sequels with characters from the film before it but without the main cast reprising their roles. You can only do this if...

the actor made the movie bad (yes, I'm talking about you, Katie Holmes in Batman Begins. and this is what they should have done to you, SOFIA COPPOLA)

the actor died (Richard Harris, RIP)

They were showing The Prince and Me II the other day and gad, the casting was awful. They decided to remove MIRANDA RICHARDSON and JULIA STILES (come on. she made the first film quirky and bearable. this isn't even my type of movies!).

blasphemy!

2008-04-12T08:35:52Z

How crazy is it that Michael Johns was eliminated last night from American Idol? Honestly, I was expecting Kristy to go, 'cause like, I don't get her. But she is cute. Honestly, I don't like Syesha. Yes, she's got talent, but I get this arrogant vibe from her. Is it just me, or does she like answering back at the judges? But whatever, it is a singing competition, and it's the talent that counts. I'm rooting for Brooke White 'cause she looks sweet and Syesha, if we're basing it on talent (UGH).